[#2] |I’m not a feminist| but- look me in the fucking eyes

When I say I’m not a feminist, I mean that I am not the ‘MEDIA’ version of a feminist. The media has picked apart so many powerful testimonies. They publicize quotes that were taken out of context, further adding negativity to the movement. The media has inadvertently created an extremely negative definition of the term ‘feminist’.

—That’s all I will ever say on the topic of feminism—

|but- look me in the fucking eyes|

I work in an extremely male-dominant field. I started this job in May 2019, prior to that I worked in this same area of expertise for 6 years.

I have every qualification / certification available for my position.

I have 6+ years of experience.

I have 3 recommendation letters from high officials in my last job validating my skills and expertise.

I have well over 1,000hrs in my platform.

I am always respectful and courteous to my co-workers / superiors.

I work my ass off to prove my worth.

I WORK MY ASS OFF- to prove that I am more than a cute blonde with legs & tits.

WHY?

Human Nature.

I am young and bubbly. I am a giggly social butterfly. I am funny. I dress stylish. I like to wear make-up every now and then. I am emotional. I like the color pink and I love to decorate my personal space with sunflowers.

THAT DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T DESERVE YOUR RESPECT. That doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be here.

Beyond all of those outward attributes that could be used to describe me, I am also:

Smart. Dedicated. Punctual. Meticulous about my quality of work. Adamant about meeting deadlines. Goal oriented. Organized. Money savvy. Eager to learn more. Eager to learn from my mistakes. Creative in designing better processes for the future. Proud of my products. Excited to be in this field. Tough. Strong-minded. An advocate for quality over quantity. A dedicated follower when working under a superior. A leader, without having to be told.

All of my recommendations, qualifications, attributes and skills were on my resume.

I got hired for my skills and attributes.

I never had a face-to-face interview.

I got hired, to perform a job at the best of my ability, because I am fucking qualified to do so.

So why am I working 10x harder than every other co-worker? (I am 1 of 3 women with the same job title, however, they have both been here for 10 years)

I shouldn’t have to prove my worth because I ‘seem like a dumb blonde’. I am more than my appearance.

Yet here I am. When presenting a completed project, that I was the lead Subject Matter Expert on, my superior is looking my male counterpart in the eyes. I lead the project. I disseminated the tasks to the others in the group. I am explaining the completed project. My superiors won’t look me in the eyes. They don’t even realize they are doing it, is what’s sad. It took my male counterpart reiterating exactly what I just said, for our superior to acknowledge a job well done. He shakes my male counterparts hand while making eye contact and says “great job, way ahead of schedule too”. ONLY THEN, does he look at me, nod his head at me and walk out of the room.

I didn’t get a hand shake (I have a damn good hand shake too). I didn’t get the respectful eye contact. I didn’t get credit. This is only ONE very recent example.

I don’t give a shit about the kudos or credit, I JUST WANT TO BE RESPECTED FOR MY PERFORMANCE. FUCK.

Like I said, I had 6 years in my previous job. I had all of that time to earn my position and respect as a valued asset and instructor. I molded myself into the go-to person for any situation, but FUCK it took me a long time to get there.

It’s not fair, but it’s life honey.

It is ingrained in the mind. You can understand everything I just said; whine, cry at the injustice, go to the HR department and complain about inequality, sulk, be discouraged and give up because it’s too much work and pressure.

—OR—

You keep fucking grinding.

Show them what you’re made of.

Impress them.

Use it to fuel you.

Produce your stellar fucking work, because you’re a smart ass woman.

Stick to your guns.

Be just as funny, foul-mouthed & sarcastic and crude as the guys. Because you’re not a delicate flower and you like dirty jokes and witty come-backs just like the rest of them.

Be yourself.

Don’t give up.

Because eventually, you’ll earn their respect. It may not be as fast as your male co-workers who were hired at the exact same time, but ya know what’s awesome about that? You’ll have twice the respect that they have. Because once ONE person realizes your worth, they will realize all of your hard work. They will be proud AS FUCK of you. Proud to have you apart of their team. They will be blown away when your full potential is realized.

We may not be able to change the subconscious perceptions of others, but we can make the conscious decision to change ours. In doing so, we can reach one human at a time and make a positive impact.

TO BE CLEAR: I am not bashing the men in the work-place. I am simply pointing out a flaw in OUR human nature: assuming a human beings worth based on their outward appearance.

This is only a small example that happens to showcase the male to female comparison in the work-place. There is pleennntttyyyyyyyyy of content on women’s subconscious assumptions/reactions that WE are ALL guilty of. That just isn’t todays topic of discussion. We are all human beings, male & female.

We all have flaws.

If this struck a chord with you, suck it the fuck up. Keep killin’ it out there. Know your worth homies.

ONLY YOU, KNOW YOUR WORTH. [It’s your responsibility to make sure the right message gets across. If you leave it up to someone else to assume your worthiness, you’ll be disappointed every time.]

Thanks for getting #conchydazed with me in my second post of the Hazy Mind | Fuckery installment.

SUBSCRIBE to the blog & FOLLOW us on Insta: @hazedaze7

Stay tuned for the second post in the Conchy Daze installment.

Stay #conchydazed my friends.

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